Writer Men actress Humor Pain I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner
Women Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire? - Rita Rudner
Care Want I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner
Man Time The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him. - Rita Rudner
War Man Will A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax. - Rita Rudner
Humanity Want People Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. - Rita Rudner
Women Men Want Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
And History will smile to think that this is the species for which Socrates and Jesus Christ died. - Julien Benda
Bereavement is the sharpest challenge to our trust in God; if faith can overcome this, there is no mountain which it cannot remove. - Dean Inge